Lullaby
by Bandit's Girl
Summary: I had never been so restless in all my life. Edward songfic-how the lullaby came to be.


**So...not as angsty as I originally planned, but this song literally grabbed me and screamed "WRITE THIS" so...I did. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, Twilight still isn't mine. Or Edward. Or Switchfoot. Or their song, Only Hope. Or Jon Foreman. No matter how much I want any of them...not mine.**

_

* * *

_

_There's a song that's inside of my soul  
__It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
__I'm awake in the infinite cold  
__But you sing to me over and over again_

The curse of being eternally awake is eternally thinking. Even attempting to rest and calm down did nothing for my racing mind. For the first time in decades, I truly felt restless. Laying on my couch and attempting to read was not the respite I sought.

The house was unusually quiet as I walked quietly from my room. Alice and Jasper were hunting, Carlisle and Esme likely with them; Rosalie and Emmett were…honestly, I'd rather not think of what they were likely doing. It would be bad enough hearing their thoughts whenever they came home.

_So I lay my head back down  
__And I lift my hands  
__And pray to be only yours  
__I pray to be only yours  
__I know now you're my only hope_

My hands gently danced over the ivory keys. Playing music would be a comforting escape, indeed. But what to play?

Without thinking, I began to plan Clair de Lune. And yet, it sounded odd to my ears. I withdrew my hands abruptly, frustrated. This was supposed to put my mind at ease, not irritate me.

_Sing to me the song of the stars  
__Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again  
__When it feels like my dreams are so far  
__Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again_

After a calming breath, I placed my fingers on the keys again. This time, I let them find the music.

The song was not one I knew; I could not even remember hearing it. The melody was soothing, yet slightly haunting. When my hands finally consented to stop, I wrote the notes on a blank piece of sheet music.

The song had the feel of a lullaby, with underlying pain and promises. To put it simply, it was puzzling. What on earth had I written?

_And I lay my head back down  
__And I lift my hands and pray  
__To be only yours  
__I pray to be only yours  
__I know now you're my only hope_

My fingers ached to play it again; I acquiesced. My thoughts were on the reason for this beautiful music. I had never felt so desperate to write a song (for I knew now that this song was the cause of my restlessness) nor had I been so puzzled by what a song meant.

"That is a beautiful song."

"Thank you, Esme." I allowed the music to trail off before turning on the piano bench to face my 'mother.' She was smiling peacefully. She clearly knew something I didn't and she was intentionally keeping me out of her head (sometimes, she just wanted to talk like I couldn't read her mind; it's a reasonable request).

"Do you know why I wrote this?"

_I give you my apathy  
__I'm giving you all of me  
__I want your symphony  
__Singing in all that I am  
__At the top of my lungs  
__I'm giving it back_

Esme just smiled more at my perplexed expression and crossed the room to face me. She put a hand on each of my shoulders in that knowing motherly way.

"There is no coincidence that you wrote a love song that is also a lullaby." I frowned. Love song?

"The girl, Bella. You wrote this for her." Esme smiled even more before walking towards the door.

"After all," she added before gliding out the door, "Vampires need no lullabies."

I wrote a lullaby for a human girl? Esme thought I was in love with her? I was not. She was just interesting…and tempting…and fragile…and perfect.

Dear God, I'm in love with a human.

_And I lay my head back down  
__And I lift my hands and pray  
__To be only yours  
__I pray to be only yours  
__I pray to be only yours  
__I know now you're my only hope_

* * *

**Kiowa loves reviews. They make her day bright and shiny. Which, if you knew the dark and twisty state of Kiowa's days, you'd know how important reviews must be. Kiowa says thank you in advance if you review.**


End file.
